


this is me trying (and maybe i don't quite know what to say)

by AspenRoman



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Flirting, F/F, Romance, Useless Lesbians, basically me projecting ngl, i love my milfs, lin deserves happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26053984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AspenRoman/pseuds/AspenRoman
Summary: lin's walls are worn down after everything, and kya knows this.and that's exactly why she corners her at varrick and zhu li's wedding to say everything she never got the chance to say.
Relationships: Lin Beifong/Kya II
Comments: 15
Kudos: 222





	this is me trying (and maybe i don't quite know what to say)

**Author's Note:**

> lil one shot action because i love me some kyalin. i think if they had gotten together canonically the world would've exploded. one can wish tho.

It's painstakingly obvious that Lin isn't used to civilian clothes, and she knows it. She's still on edge after everything that's happened since Korra had first arrived in Republic City. It feels like centuries have passed since them, when it was a little less than half a decade in actuality. The young Avatar has done more for the city than she has in her decades of work and it stirs a painful sense of guilt and jealousy. It feels like all she's doing is useless sometimes and she knows she's arguably the strongest earthbender in the world, not considering her mother of course, but she can't help but dwell on the past times she's failed the girl. It's her job to keep the city safe, and she's failed an innumerable amount of times in the recent past.

It's not even her mind that's starting to wear down, it's her body too. As the Chief of Police stares out at the brand new spirit portal, she can feel the ache in her back and knees. She goes to work with bruises and always ends up coming home with even more. Healing is slower at her age and although sometimes she likes the pain, it makes her feel alive, it's starting to slow her down. She's not the spry kid she used to be, and she's becoming more and more aware of it lately.

"But what I would do then?" She murmurs to herself as she unconsciously crosses her arms. Lin knows she's spent her entire life for this position, has tried to be the perfect kid for her mother for her entire life, has pushed away a countless amount of lovers in order to devote herself to her work. She feels a hollowness in her chest that she blames on the sentimentality of Varrick and Zhu Li's elaborate wedding as she thinks back on her past. Maybe Korra was right and she really was nothing more than a bitter and lonesome woman, but that is all she's known and all she's been for decades. She doesn't even know if it's possible to make such a drastic change.

"You're going to think yourself to death," Kya giggles as she saunters up to Lin.

Lin glances over her shoulder at the tipsy woman, "How long have you been there?"

"Just got here, sunshine," Kya smiles, "why aren't you with the rest of us, it's a _party_ , Lin. You can take a break from brooding for a few hours."

"I was about to leave actually," Lin offers her a terse smile, "have a good night."

As Lin walks past her, Kya reaches out and grabs her bare wrist. Instantly, Lin rips her arm away and does her best to push the blush on her face down. She hates how easy it is for Kya to get a reaction out of her and how her body still recognizes her touch. With a sigh, Kya stares down at her and frowns.

"And do what? Go back to that boring office of yours to do paperwork?" Kya says, "It's one night. I'm sure the other officers have it covered and they know to call you if anything happens."

"But-," Lin starts.

"One dance, then you can go," Kya commands and Lin relents.

Kya pulls Lin onto the dance floor and one dance quickly turns into two then three then four. By the time the moon is high in the sky, the final song comes on and Lin feels like her feet are about to fall off. Before she can escape though, Kya pulls her close and puts her hands on Lin's shoulders. The melody of the song is slow and soft and Lin finally realizes what Kya expects her to do. Lin places her hands on either side of Kya's hips, although her hands are as high up on her hips as possible.

"You can put them lower," Kya teases, "I'm not a prude you know."

"You only say that because you've had too much wine," Lin remarks and Kya laughs.

"Or I just like you, Cassanova," Kya smiles.

"Kya," Lin says in a low, warning tone.

In response the older woman keeps smiling, a devious glint in her eyes. They stay in silence as the song passes, swaying back and forth. Lin can feel the warmth of Kya's skin through her thin dress and swallows harshly. Memories of old escapes and sneaking around on Air Temple Island play inside of her head. She remembers them in their youth, when they thought they were invincible and refuses to dwell on how it all fell apart. They're one of only two other couples on the dance floor, the other being Korra and Asami, and Lin can feel all of the eyes that are staring at them. 

"Those two are so obvious," Kya says as the song winds down.

"Korra and Asami? I could see it. But they both dated Mako," Lin's eyebrows furrow.

"And they're best friends. Look at the way Asami is looking at her, like she hung the stars for her," Kya tells her.

Lin glances over at them, "And you know this why?"

"Because it's how I look at you."

Immediately, Lin recoils, more in shock than anything. She pulls her hands back and they fall to her side as her mind goes blank. Her eyes are wide and her posture straight as she stares up at Kya before she turns on her heel and leaves. The metalbender doesn't know what to do but she knows she can't be here right now, that she can't think about everything or she'll get upset. Kya sighs before she heads after her.

"You can't keep running from this, Lin," Kya shouts once they've made a sizable distance from everyone else.

"I'm not doing this, Kya. Not again," Lin argues.

"Will you just stop running away and talk to me for once? At least let me know what's going through your mind, Agni it's like talking to a brick wall sometimes," Kya complains.

"Fine. You want me to talk? I refuse to do this again. I refuse to let you worm your way into my heart again and just leave without a second thought," Lin whips around.

"I wanted you to come with! I told you that," Kya yells as she gets closer.

"I was eighteen, I was supposed to take over for my mom soon, I couldn't just give that all up to travel with you. _I was eighteen_. You were asking me to choose between my dream girl and my dream job. You know how impossible that decision was? The game was rigged either way I would lose. If you had gotten me to go with you, I know you would've felt guilty about it for the rest of your life," Lin says.

Kya groans in frustration, "I was suffocating here, I had to leave. But you didn't have to date my baby brother while I was gone."

"He was safe, okay?" Lin cries out, "he was the one who was there when you left. You have no right to say this because you left me first. And forgive me if I don't forget overnight how easy it was for you to get up and leave me."

"It wasn't easy, but I didn't have a choice. Lin, staying here would've killed me."

Lin takes a deep breath to compose herself and Kya watches her silently. The moon looms over Kya's shoulder and the entire woman is aglow in moonlight. From this proximity, Lin can see the wrinkles around her mouth, the beauty mark on her cheek, and the fire in her eyes. _She is so beautiful it hurts,_ Lin sighs but she knows what she has to do. The Chief of Police straightens and clenches her jaw as she stares at the ground.

"Truthfully, one of us deserves better than the other. Goodnight Kya," Lin stiffly nods before she turns.

Kya screams in frustration at stupid Lin Beifong who makes her feel five instead of fifty-nine as she walks away and she doesn't know how to stop her.

* * *

"-And then she said that one of us deserves better than the other!" Kya rants and slams her glass down on the table.

"Uh, you're still talking about Lin, right? Like broody, cold, lonely Chief of Police?" Korra says.

Kya's mouth drops open, "Agni."

"Yeah, I don't think she was talking about herself. I think she was talking about you."

"Thanks kid!" Kya throws down some coins and rushes out of the bar.

"They don't take Water Tribe money in Republic City," Korra pouts as she takes her own wallet out to pay the bill.

 _Dumb gays,_ she thinks, _how oblivious can someone be?_

* * *

Kya slams her knuckles against the door over and over again until the door bursts open, held open by a sleepy Lin. The Police Chief looks exhausted but straightens as soon as she sees the waterbender. Lin is dressed in her typical tank top and sweatpants and it takes all of Kya's self-control to not launch herself forward. The younger woman has bruises all around her left shoulder and Kya knows her enough to know that she was off of her game today.

"What are you doing here?" Lin grumbles.

"Aw screw it," Kya says and then leans forward.

Their lips meet and Lin grips the back of Kya's head for dear life as Kya pushes them back into Lin's apartment. The door shuts by itself, courtesy of some earthbending, as Kya grabs Lin's arms to pull her as close as they possibly can. She can't remember the last time she kissed Lin, it must've been over thirty years ago, but there's something familiar about it all. They've both changed an extraordinary amount over the years and Kya wants to explore every new scar on Lin's body. The kiss is anything but soft, it's rough and messy but it's full of passion and anger and Kya thinks it's perfect in its own way.

Soon, Lin regains her sense of self and pulls back. Her pupils are dilated and her breath is ragged but her face morphs into a scowl. Her touch is gentle as she removes her hand from the back of Kya's head, but Kya misses the warmth instantly. 

"What are we doing? What was that?" Lin murmurs.

"I thought about what you said the other day and I was super angry because I thought you were talking about me being inferior to you. And then I thought about it and I realized you were just being all self-loathing and came here to knock some sense into you," Kya has a soft smile on her face, "Lin, I can't change the past and neither can you. We've both made mistakes, albeit of different sizes. So what's the good of living there? We're not as young as we used to be, but I'd like to think we're better for it. I don't think younger us would've lasted, but I do think older us can."

"I...I just don't...I haven't been in a relationship in a long time," Lin's cheeks turn pink and Kya wants to kiss her, "I've been alone for so long that it's all I've known. And I don't know how to talk about my feelings or to really open up in general. I don't really know what to do anymore or when to say the right things and I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to lose you again."

"You're not going to lose me, silly. No matter what you do. I've known you my entire life and I also _know you_. I know how you work and I think you're the person I understand the most besides myself," Kya tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, "I have lived all over the world and loved so many people, but none of them compare to you Lin. You were my first love and I think you're the only for me."

"I'm not good at words," Lin licks her lips.

"Then show me," Kya says.

Nervously, Lin nods and slides her hands down to Kya's sides. The entire thing is slow and fumbling as Lin gets her out of her clothes and the two can't help but laugh at themselves. The metalbender takes her time exploring the older woman's body, mapping every freckle and every mark, and Kya thinks that she could get used to this. And as Lin places herself between her legs, she understands everything Lin doesn't know how to say.

"I love you," Kya gasps.

And Lin kisses her inner thigh in response, emerald eyes staring up at her, and Kya has a good feeling that they will be alright.


End file.
